cro·ny·ism  (krn-zm)
n.
Favoritism shown to old friends without regard for their qualifications

(noun) mafia, maffia
any tightly knit group of trusted associates

"In all institutions where the brisk air of public criticism fails to circulate (as, for example, in scholarly bodies and senates), an innocent corruption grows up, like a mushroom."

-Friedrich Nietzsche


so, for reasons i can't quite understand, a titled person set up a meeting for me to talk to a mgr person

the guy did not appear to talk down to me

i have to give him that

and we were cruising along

and it wasn't 'til the end

when he couldn't understand these concepts:

- if i get high production on a given day, it does not mean i'm great at my job

- if i get low production on a given day, it does not mean i'm awful at my job

could not understand it

AT ALL

could not understand that i'm only a thing that other things pass thru and it has no reflection on me, who i am or what i'm worthy/capable of

and that's all i am

a thing

but

after talking to this mgr, i was able to verify that nothing else about me means anything

not my conduct

not my attendance

not the quality of my work

not my ethics

NOTHING

although he thought it was such an awful thing for me to describe myself in such a way

that was the bad thing

to actually say it out loud

but, again, he actually verified that the only thing i'm judged on is the number of things i produce on a given night

he actually said that he personally valued my refusal to steal money/work from my co-workers even tho 96% of them are doing the same to me

we didn't even get into the massive amount of fraud being perpetrated against the clients by my co-workers and being ignored by the staff because everyone's trying to get their money (thru bonuses)

and we didn't even get into how i can't go to their staff to "tell" on an incident by incident basis that these things are happening because 1. nothing is ever done about it or 2. they'll tell me to my face that "I don't care!"

i found another tact

a way to explain why i don't feel i have anyone to report incidents to

but he thought it was insanely cynical of me to think that i couldn't count on the staff because they are getting their bonus either way (if anyone ends up losing their job through other people's theft of "high value" work)

we didn't even get into the ultra-destructive cronyism that causes everything to function this way

as people protect other people who have no positive effect on the work or the culture

rather, they have a completely negative effect in the way they protect people who commit fraud and theft and are obviously not working (except they are able to get more production "numbers" than anyone in 1/4 of the time by the work they "chose" for themselves &/or how they do it)

or if they "get" a title, that means they can stop working

because, you know, it's like an exclusive club

except for my lead, of course

and he is overwhelmed

and he is starting to crack

well, really he's past that point now

he's is all burned up

he's done

and he appears to despise us

for merely existing

not distinguishing one of us from another

no matter how each person conducts themselves

in his eyes, we're all the same

just as we are seen by the persons with the titles above his

what we produce(d)

last night

last week

last month

no other factors are necessary to make up a bigger picture of who we are or if we "deserve" to work there

but i don't talk to him (the lead) about it because i don't want it to be perceived that i'm doing what almost all the others do

which is pretend to be his friend while trying to get anything out of him that i can ("high value" work or to get an "in" with the mafia)

back to the mgr person

as many a mgr before him (and there have been several), he felt that it was impossible to know by observation when people are not working or are stealing and presumably when they're committing fraud against the clients (tho we didn't get into that because no matter how controversial THAT is, management blatantly ignores it/somehow only -I- become controversial for bringing it up)

and how this cycle happens over & over again no matter how many people are removed and new people come in

how processors figure out the fraud and theft angle in the first few weeks and live high on that for as long as they can

how those with titles figure out as soon as they can how to get out of doing much at all while setting up their mafia whose conduct is deplorable and actually protect those who are committing the most fraud and theft

and when he says

and the guy who (locally) runs the entire joint says

something like, some people just don't do well here..

are they really talking about me?

is it that my expectations are too high?

is that it?

shall i merely get into lock-step with everyone else?

and steal from others?

and commit fraud against the clients?

and pretend to be the greatest of friends with the mafia?

just to see what i can get out of it?

and really fight for any little extra thing i can?

is that it?

wait

who is going to do the less "valuable" work?

this mgr said something to me like they've (whoever that is) decided to keep you this long for some reason

the fuck if i know why

i know my good work,  my good attendance, my personal ethics and my time served don't mean shit

this is something i know every single day

and there i sit, just wasting away

because, since i'm doing the work in the order received

no matter how "valuable" each piece is

while my co-workers comb through it

to find what's easiest

to find what's most "valuable"

even going to other area's to find what's best for them

or getting it from their friends

or even going so far as to go to other leads / thru their mafia connections to get more "valuable" work

causing me to have to work two to three times as hard as people half my age

and i don't even know how i'm doing it

and i don't know why

and i don't know how long i can keep it up

and i don't know when it's going to end

although i have an idea of HOW it will end

and here's the thing

i know that if i never show up there again

if i actually die

and believe me, i'm working on it

it would make no difference

and mostly i think about the fact that winter's coming

and maybe i'll have to survive yet another winter there (unless i'm terminated by being made to "fail" to "produce" by my co-workers and by the staff continuing to ignore how far things have gone)

with the heat being broken for the last two years

where only one slightly heated puff of air hits one small area of an inner wall

and, again, i'm the only person who's noticed

and mike, if i had any viable way to get out of this, i would have done it long ago

i wonder sometimes how come, merely because i'm the one who is "brave" enough to discuss it, i'm the problem

is this really the way you think this division should be run?

is this the culture you were trying to create?

is this a good business model?


here i am, in case you don't remember me


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