http://www.overheardeverywhere.com

Drunk blonde: So, what do you think of American women?

Irish guy: Well, I don't know how to say this delicately, but I prefer American men.

Drunk blonde: Mhmmm... So, do you have a girlfriend back home?

Irish guy: I'm not sure you quite understand...

Bar
Chicago, Illinois

Nurse: Okay, so... Where, exactly, did you acquire these grasshopper heads?

Hospital waiting room
California

Professor: Today we're going to be synthesizing a 6,6 nylon molecule. Who can tell me where the sixes come from?

Student: The devil!

Professor: Very good. Note the dreaded mark of the polymer beast.

Chemistry lab, Concord University
Athens, West Virginia

Male student to female, exiting class: I think maybe I'm just wasting my parents' money.

Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois

Little girl looking at display of puffed wheat snacks: What's the difference between puffed and fried?

Mom: Puffed is better for you, so you can eat more of them.

Little girl: But I don't like puffed.

Dad: Puffed is gay.

Crossroads Market
Calgary, Alberta

Eight-year-old boy: Don't you know that the Kool-Aid Man doesn't exist?! He's just a tool for marketing!

Norristown, Pennsylvania

Shopkeeper: How's your wife? Did they take her in to have the baby yet?

Shopper: Yeah, they took her in this morning to be seduced.

Bangor
Northern Ireland


Queer #1: I saw this guy here yesterday who looked super familiar, and I couldn't remember from where...

Queer #2: Oh, yeah?

Queer #1: Well, finally I just gave up and walked over there and said, 'Hey, you look familiar. Didn't we have sex before?'

Queer #2: Oh, yeah?

Queer #1: He didn't answer, but I'm totally right about it. I think he was with his girlfriend or something, too, so maybe that's why.

Abbey Coffeehouse
Indianapolis, Indiana


Thug filling out employment application: Hey, when you say, 'Have you ever been convicted of a felony?' do you mean found guilty, or just sort of accused and arrested?

Wendy's
Indianapolis, Indiana

Hipster girl: Don't you dare lick me!
Hipster boy: [Licks her.]
Hipster girl: I love you.

Minneapolis, Minnesota
Posted 2007-07-30

Bellhop #1: Oops... Almost forgot to bring my blueberry and honey-flavored tea!
Bellhop #2: Don't forget your vagina.

The Cliff House
Manitou Springs, Colorado
Posted 2007-07-13